I received an ARC for Until I Die by Deidra Duncan. This book blew me away. I was absolutely hooked from about page two and it just kept getting better and better. It was emotional, dark, gripping, and simply exquisite. This is the book blurb:
In the ruins of a nation, two enemies risk everything for a chance at justice… and each other.
After the Fracture, nothing is safe—not love, not truth, and certainly not women. In the ashes of the fallen United States, the New American Order has seized power, silencing dissent and enslaving the vulnerable. To stop the spread of their evil, Sophia Reeves has given everything to the Defiance, a resistance force battling the NAO, but now, her general has another command: become a contact for an enemy officer-turned-spy. She understands the sacrifice this order requires. Association with a Blood Colonel is a death sentence—especially for a woman.
He’s just a name at first. A whisper in the dark. But week by week, Lucas Scott becomes something more—dangerously unreadable, brutally efficient, and far too human for a man embedded in a regime that breaks people like her. Sophia expects cruelty. She prepares for betrayal. What she finds is a man haunted by secrets, driven by grief, and willing to burn the whole world down for a hope he’s barely clinging to.
Their alliance is a fragile one, forged in shadow and drenched in danger. But as the Defiance grows closer to victory, their missions become deadlier, and the line between duty and desire blurs. Beneath the shadow of escalating war, Sophia and Lucas must decide what they’re willing to sacrifice for a cause that might already be lost—and for a love they were never meant to find.
Hauntingly raw and achingly romantic, UNTIL I DIE is a story of rebellion, redemption, and the unbreakable will to love in a world that has forgotten how.
It's also marketed as The Handmaid's Tale meets Leave Me Behind. I've read the Handmaid's Tale and I would agree that it certainly has similar themes. This felt so real and plausible in todays political climate. The two main characters Sophia and Lucas are both flawed, broken and at their emotional end. The story is told from Sophia's POV. She reluctantly followed her parents and joined the opposition to the direction the government was heading. That movement eventually became known as the Defiance. It became a military force and was at the brink of losing the battle against the strong military force of the former United States. Sophia makes a pretty terrible soldier and after her entire squad is killed off she gets re-assigned as a medic. Everyone else in her life also is killed in this war so by the time we meet her in this story she is depressed, withdrawn and suffering from survivors guilt and full blown panic attacks. At the beginning of the book Sophia is asked to be the contact for a high-ranking officer. He has asked specifically for a woman. Sophia agrees knowing full well why an officer from the NAO would lay out such a specific request, or so she thinks. She learns that the officer is Lucas Scott a Colonel. He's one of the NAO executioners; executions are televised, so Sophia is keenly aware of who he is. Known to the Defiance as a Blood Colonel, he is the most brutal and feared of them all. She accepts the assignment willingly as at this point she wished for a swift death. She meets Lucas Scott who is brusque, harsh and very tight lipped as far as his reasoning on why he is committing treason to help the Defiance. His only answer is that the NAO "hurt my sister". Sophia learns rather quickly that Lucas isn't what she first thought he was. He becomes more or less obsessed with her safety but won't really elaborate on why. You can probably ascertain from the book blurb that Sophia and Lucas' relationship slowly (almost) painfully becomes more than just a contact and turn-coat. Lucas' motives are complex and faceted. Deidra Duncan does an excellent job of building this world; making it a hauntingly plausible possibility. She also does a excellent job of characterizing compelling secondary characters and exploring the mental load that a revolution would put a average citizen through. The chapters have names and at the beginning of each one is a quote. Some are actual quotes from real people in our history such as JFK, or real documents such as the US constitution. Other quotes are from the new documents or laws enacted by the NAO or fictional characters in the book. I really enjoyed how this book was set up; it made everything feel significant. We also find out a lot about Sophia's past and thusly her mental state through flash backs that induce her panic attacks. These are also clearly laid out so its easy to tell what is past and what is present. The dialogue is mixed with humor, sarcasm and obviously serious portions. I found this to be a well thought out and written story and it is deep. It's also heart-wrenching in quite a few places. I both laughed and sobbed uncontrollably throughout this story. The romance is thick, but it's not like all the fantasy-romances that I read, its more compelling and I don't know if I can quite put that into appropriate words. There is spice. I'm being fairly generous with the 2 pepper rating. It's not a descriptive as what I normally read, but its certainly not closed door either. Duncan focuses more on how Sophia is feeling then the mechanicals of the act, if that makes sense. I'm not exaggerating when I say this was my favorite read of 2025. I'm still thinking about this book non-stop two days after finishing it. I'm also tempted to read it over again right now because it was so good and I want to pick up on more details than I did the first time. I've never felt like this about a book before. I mentioned in my last post that this book gave me Viridian Priestess vibes and it does. Mostly the assumptions about the MMCs. 99th commander and Lucas are similar. Absolutely violent and dangerous to anyone who crosses them. Military trained, skilled, secretive, mysterious and it turns out absolutely obsessively protective of the FMC. So when this book releases on 1/6/26 go get yourself a copy and you'll be in for an awesomely wild ride. I've already pre-ordered myself a physical copy. This needs to live in a prominent place on my bookshelf.
-Q
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